When does one let go? Eventually let go? Once one lets go, should there be any room for turning back?
Being in a christian set-up, where all these issues are looming, it makes things increasingly difficult to set-out the last question. People are always talking about forgive-ness and love.
Question is, if there was so much love, there would be no such nonsense to begin with? Such animosity, hatred and dis-content? Just does not fit into the question does it?
After a month, I still see no light at the end of the tunnel. Instead, because of my disappointment in the next closest friend I had in the community, somehow, that relationship has also been somewhat strained. Maybe she hates me now. I don’t know. While people have been asking me to confront her to talk about things, it is not me, and I don’t know how to go about confrontation.
I have on the other hand, tried to set-up things for improvement. But, well, I find myself snagged against the wall. Either I get no responses or, I get luke warm responses. What more can I, should I do?
Last night, before I fell asleep (no, I did not sleep eventually because of the thought that struck me). What struck me was – if the relationship I had with the girl friend was this shaky, and it seems like she has no intentions to keep/mend this relationship, it speaks alot does it not? Just what am I holding on to?
A friendship cannot be one-sided. My disappointment continues to deepen. Unfortunately. Only thing I can think of now is, to mend myself. To prevent myself from sinking any further in emotions.
Dear Friend.. do you know the pain I am in? Are you in the same pain? Or am I the only one offering the arm of friendship all this while.. I know not what else to do. I will stay only this much longer for you.. after which, I guess I have to permanently move on. This heaviness is dragging me down.