January 2017 has shown me, who my pillars of support are.
I have been wrong with at least one. And very disappointed with that, very one.
The ones who have reached out to me, spoken to me, taken time out for me, were the ones who were not Christians nor from my church community. The ones who see me in the church, at least twice a week, were oblivious to me.. going about their own business. Then maybe they can blame me for not voicing out my problems.
Maybe, I smile too much, maybe cos I don’t carry my troubles and worries on my face… people think I’m fine. Then, how is it, those who are so far from me, who don’t see me… sense I need some support? Even with the simple question of, “are you okay?”
The very one who disappointed me. While I almost had to beg for her to be around, she never did take me seriously. Compromising what I held so highly – quality of the music in worship. And she was the only one whom I really told most of the problems I had to, yet, it was just that. I now, don’t know who I was talking to. Maybe to the wind.